You're so nebulous sometimes
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
