With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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