I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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