If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
