I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
