I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
