i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
