My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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