It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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