Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
