honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
