so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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