you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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