If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
