how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
