coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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