what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
