I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
