I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
