he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i think im in europe. pls send help
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
