Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
