I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize