Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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