Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's never too late to be topless.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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