Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
