Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
