took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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