too bad you live with your parents still
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
