If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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