I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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