He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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