Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
