Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
