you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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