Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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