He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
