I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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