Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
