HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
