i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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