I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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