Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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