What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
