fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
