Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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