so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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