3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
