There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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