As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
