You can't motorboat a personality
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
