We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
