You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
